Dig a Little Deeper.
09. Aug, 2009 
10 Comments
Photo by Stardust (cc)
Life can be a lot of drama.
You might not be a drama queen yourself, but if you’re here, reading this, you have a pretty strong personality. And people like us tend to attract some heavy stuff, and feel it more than most people… how many times have people told you
Oh, it’s not that big of a deal
or
Why don’t you just get over it already??
On the flip side, you might be the one telling everyone else that. You have your act together, your friends always come to you for advice, and no one can touch you. Alas, this means you spend all your time listening to other people’s problems, and no one seems to have time for yours. Or maybe people want to hear yours, but you’re pretty sure they wouldn’t be able to handle it if you decided to tell them what was really bothering you.
(swearing below the break)
You’ve seen it all, so fuck the naysayers, right? People just don’t get you. Or maybe a few do, but they’re part of your drama problem for entirely different reasons.
And yet.
You’re a little tired of being a hardass all the time; you’re tired, you’re bored, you’re sick of having to live up to everyone’s expectations, including your own. So take a little pause.
What would you tell someone, if you knew it wouldn’t freak them out… if you knew it wouldn’t make them mad at you, or stir anything else up? What do you wish other people could see about you? What are you terrified that other people will find out about you if you let your guard down for even a second?
Think about it for a minute. Or if you’re really brave, put it here in the comments (use a pseudonym if it’s more fun to be sneaky).
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LOL, X-D
I remember once telling a friend that I was secretly paranoid, lol, he said ‘So, ‘Angie’s paranoid…’ lol, it sounded funny coming from him. I wasn’t clinical paranoid but at the time I wasn’t too thrilled with some people’s behavior, seemed like I had attracted my share of ‘strange’ people
Now, telling people things about myself would really make them think, lol ^_^
I show my dark side very very very rarely. I have Mars in Scorpio in the 8th house, and with a Moon/Pluto opposition, my rage, on the rare occasions it erupts is nasty indeed. To the world, I am really “together”, but I let my guard down only with those I love the most.
Jo Tracey´s last blog ..The Emotional Overdraft
Wow, I would say I can most definetely identify with this post- maaan wow!
See, lately I have been better at expressing how I really feel instead of “hiding” under my secretive Nep sq Sun & Pluto in 3rd ( in Scorp)..
(Pluto is in a Double Yod – Pluto sextile Nep quincunx Chiron sextile Sun quincunx Pluto)
Angel, the more I talk to you the more we sound alike! It cracks me up.
Jo, my SO has Mars in Scorpio opp. his moon, and he describes it exactly the way you said. And I hear ya on the Moon/Pluto opposition… woe to those who piss us off.
Shannon´s last blog ..Dig a Little Deeper.
I loved this post. Incidentally, I had my lunch buddy tell me today (many times): “Why don’t you just get over it already?”
P.S. I have a Scorpio Moon and I ain’t talking
NR´s last blog ..When the world is too much with us: The twelfth house
More Pluto/moon love… yours is built right in, N! Welcome to the party, heh.
Wow, I can barely let my guard down internally for long enough to think of an answer to your question of what I would tell people if if if. Scorpio rising and a very close Pluto-Sun conjunction keep my lips mostly zipped. That Sun-Pluto conjunction is in my 11th house, though, and lately I’ve been wishing I could tell almost all of my friends that our relationships need to change or end, but no, I could never say that out loud. Nope, never.
Darcy´s last blog ..Start with your underpants
That i’m depressed and comptemplate suicide at times. Also, that I’m attracted to this complete asshole that everyone else hates. Those are the 2 biggest secrets I do not tell my friends or anyone basically.
contemplate* my bad.
That’s a rough go, April. It’s good that you can talk about it somewhere though, even if you don’t feel you can tell your friends.
If you’re contemplating suicide please take a look at this page: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/